So after two years I finally decided to see a doctor about that strange and mysterious bulge that was coming out of my groin by the bottom part of my chest.  I had had some pretty severe but really random pain for probably two years.  I could go a month or so and nothing but some small discomfort then wake up one day and barely be able to walk.  After a truly crappy day on a high school band trip in Hawaii this past February, that totally ruined one day, it was time to do something.  My symptoms were exactly as above: a small bulge on my right side(inguinal) sort of at the top of my leg just to the right of my pubic bone.

FYI I am a 48 year old pretty healthy man(well, save for the diabetes but that’s pretty ok these days.  I weigh 155 lbs so no weight issues, just too many milanos and snapple)

I am a horrible, anxiety ridden patient so that’s why I waited until I realized I was being an idiot and my golf game might suffer.  My initial appointment was nothing. The hernia was so obvious, he just touched it, smiled and asked when i wanted surgery.  No ultra sounds, no rectals, no x rays, just a visual and a diagnosis/   he said that most hernias are like that, and laughed when I told him I read some pretty weird diagnosis stories, so that was a welcome surprise.I got the little handbook and the brief lecture, but the bottom line was surgery.  Mine was to be open as opposed to laproscopic. I tend to trust the drs as you read so much garbage on line.But what he said was yes the scope is less intrusive, quicker recovery time and no scar. However, there is more risk to internal organs and complications, and as he had done thousands of these, I decided to defer.

These are so frequent that I could have it any tuesday or friday he was there.  but of course with spring break had to wait a few weeks. You will need pro op blood tests and an EKG, which can be done in your drs office usually, so that was done and normal. Surgery was then set for today, and this is where hopefully people will find this a little useful, as I would have liked to know a lot of the basics.

First I was the first surgery of the day.  Beg for that. After the first who knows what complications may arise that could push back or cancel yours, and if anyone out there is nuts like me, the waiting would suck.  Be first,  no waiting. yeah, getting up at 4:45 not fun,being home by 10:30 was very cool.   Once you do the check in, they will take you back.  While I did mine in Michigan, it seems like the procedure is probably the same.

I got escorted to get all naked, yup all naked, but for my socks.  quick the sight, black socks, pale skin, very attractive but there was a strange security to that. I was then escorted to the bed.  You are hooked up to lots and lots of wire and tubes which maybe I should have known but was not told.  EKG, which is a lot, pulse on the finger, IV was in the top of my wrist. She was going to do it on the back of my hand but I objected and she did the wrist. Much more comfortable which even she agreed. You will also be placed on a blood pressure monitor so I could watch my anxiety level rise.

They will shave you.  My dr likes half shaved which was a lot.  So three women lifted the robe used an electric shaver for ten minutes and cut away.  If you are all embarrassed about showing your private parts, get over it.  The just lifted and went to town. It was so business like it did not even bother me.  But it will itch crazy when it grows back. They used a lint roller to pick up what they cut  that was funny.

You then meet with anesthesia person.  I did general, was not given the option of a local.I may be an idiot but did not realize I got the tube down my throat.  Thankfully it is all done when you are asleep, but my throat is pretty sore.  I have NO recollection of going to sleep. They gave me a valium type drug through the IV which calmed me, but not like being high.  They then told me they were taking me in.My next recollection is waking up.  Which is totally off as 90 minutes of my life is gone, but I have no memory of even seeing the OR. So if that is a concern, don’t.  Like everyone says you just sleep.

Day two

Ok.  It really hurt last night.  All the anesthesia burned off,  could not lie down, spent the night sitting up on my couch surrounded by pillows wallowing in pain and self pity.   Getting up was horrible, the peeing is still more spotty than strong.   But of course, I took Motrin 600 this morning, off the narcotics.    Helped.  Pain there but way down and I feel ok.

Some things to watch for.  Shivering.  Like uncontrollable in the middle of the night.   No fever just shaking.  No one told me about that.   Sucks.

But today ok.   Hurts. Still using ice in my pants and walking really really helps.  No pain when I walk even up the stairs.    Still waiting to poop.   Have until day three til an issue so say a prayer

Thanks for reading

Scott sitner
Birmingham. Mi